Sunday, June 5, 2011

Starting All Over Again

Happy Sunday! My grandson is coming today to stay for a week. I shouldn't say he is my favorite human being on the whole planet, but he is. It is just easier to love children than it is to love their adult counterparts. He is my main incentive to getting sober. He is 7. He doesn't know Grandma is a drunk. I hope he never does. I went to visit him a couple of weeks ago. I went to his first baseball game. Of course, I was hungover because I'd had a few too many while watching him do a series of brilliantly idiotic jumps into the hotel pool the night before. And then I couldn't sleep as usual. But I was doing okay at the game because I'd had a little hair of the dog to get me through. He'd come up to bat and slyly give me a little wave before he took his stance. He loves me. Sometimes I deserve it.
In comparison, the baseball game wasn't that bad. There was his soccer game when I had to go to the bathroom and vomit. There was the time it was just him and his Grandma up here on the mountain and I was too hungover to get off the couch and I had him fix himself a bowl of ice cream for dinner. I am so ashamed to write this. Believe me, I really didn't want to write this. But I promised to be honest.
Of course, there are good times, too. But the bad ones are the ones I replay over and over and over. I don't want any more sequels. So today is a day for new beginnings. Actually every hour, every minute, every second, every breath is a chance at a new beginning. I'm taking mine right now.  .
So today I'm out there doing my best to make wonderful memories and thanking God for fresh chances.

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