Thursday, June 16, 2011
You've probably noticed that I was back at the starting line of another abs stretch. I didn't blow it last night but I did have 1.5 glasses of wine. I was getting ready to prepare a new recipe and it promised to be fantastic. But I was tense and snappish and I decided a glass of wine would smooth me out. It didn't. So I decided to pour another one. I got halfway through that one and I knew that two glasses wasn't going to be enough. I was afraid that I'd hit that WTF mode, plus my disappointment in myself for having that glass of wine was making me even crankier so I threw it out and started trying to figure out why I was so stressed that I felt I needed a drink. I think I figgered it out.
When my grandson came to visit a couple of weeks ago he wanted to squeeze every possible activity into that first day. Likewise, since I have been sober I have been trying to squeeze every second out of every day. Trying to catch up. Trying to make up for all that time lost to drunkenness and hangovers. I've been trying to live a regimented schedule. Up by 5: 30 am, squeeze in a walk, way too much time wasted on the computer, 1 hour to do this blog, 3 hours for other writing, 1 hour of housework, 1 hour of garden work, 2 hours to prepare these gourmet meals I've been fixing since I'm not drinking and have an appetite. …It doesn't sound like much but I've been used to a pretty sedate lifestyle. Oh, I forgot to mention exercising—50 crunches every time I go to the bathroom which reminds me I also need to cut down on my Diet Pepsi intake but then I won't have 6 pack abs by the time I get back to MX and my swimming suits.
Something has to give. I'm thinking it will be the housework. LOL But really I need to try and relax. I can't get that lost time back. I need to take a breath and enjoy the moments I have today and not rush through them. I will have tomorrow.
So today I'm out there doing my best to stop and smell the wildflowers and ignore those dirty windows.
P.S. The copycat recipe of Pappadeaux's Fish Alexander delivered on its promise and was delicious.