Monday, September 18, 2017

How The Heck Are You? 9/18/17: Neighbor Kary May's Handbook $.99 USD Today!

I have a friend who is going in for a TIP procedure today. Basically that is the placement of a hepatic shunt to reduce portal hypertension and variceal bleeding caused by cirrhosis. He is such a great guy. Since I don't hang out with the party crowd that much anymore, I didn't even know he had a drinking problem, he was always just a nice guy who would do anything for anyone, the one you called when you needed a pickup for any reason. But I guess he was a steady beer drinker, never really drunk, just drank beer all day. He had to have a pacemaker inserted on Friday before he could have this surgery. I hope this is a wake-up call for the hard drinking ex-pat crowd down in MX.

On the homefront, the cap'n has been moderating remarkable well on his own. The hiding of the booze didn't last long, I didn't really enjoy treating him like a child or a patient. No fights. It's been wonderful. It's been what I know our marriage can be. Fingers crossed still.

The leaves are changing up here at 10,600 feet and there's still frost on the deck this morning. I'm dreaming of snow.

Last week was a landmark week for me. I celebrated 6 years of sobriety and one year as a published author, ok, self-published. I also started my own secret FB group, No More Never Agains, to talk about drinking amongst friends who have quit, are trying to quit, are trying to moderate or are just worried about their drinking and have found a few new kindred souls. If you're interested in joining, let me know at

Life keeps keeping on.

To celebrate I'm offering my book for $.99 U.S.D today and tomorrow. 

How The Heck Are You?

The Book is supposed to be on sale today, (9/19) too, but check the price before purchase. Sometimes Amazon and I don't understand each other.

Monday, September 4, 2017

How The Heck Are You? : 9/4

Happy September!
I know we've all been watching the new coverage of people suffering through the aftermath of Hurricane Irma. My two brothers and sister live in Houston and I'm relieved to say that they are fine and none of their houses flooded, however my sister is still evacuated from her home because the water is up to her doorstep and, since she lives near the levees that they keep releasing water from, that's not going away anytime soon. To say my sister is a bit of a princess would not be exaggerating the truth. Her house is high and dry and she drives through neighborhoods where people's life's belongings are in mountain high piles on the curb, but I didn't hear much gratitude in her voice when I spoke with her yesterday.

To give her credit, I know many of us have stopped in the last week, when we were about to complain about something in our own lives and thought, I don't have the right to complain, look at what those poor people in Houston are going through.

Lately, I, myself, have found the things I loved threatened, not by a storm, but by my own greed and the endless stride for "better and more." It has made me realize the things that really are precious to me.  The things I will fight for and the things I can let go of. So much I can let go, so little is really precious, but what is, is now doubly precious in my eyes. 

Why does it take the threat of losing something to realize how much it means to you? 

How the Heck are You Today? What precious things did you find in your soul when you quit drinking? What do you hope to find? Me? I found a resilience I didn't know I had. I found a willingness and abillity to explore my soul that was lacking before. What am I still looking for? Contentment? Peace? They're there in greater amounts than they were before, but I'm still  drilling that bottomless well I can draw from.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Quarters and Pennies

Happy Last Month of Summer! That's a depressing thought which kind of fits my mood this morning. Summer always goes so fast. I'm not really depressed this morning, more kind of melancholy, reading fb posts does that to me sometimes. All those posts of parties and large groups of friends make me feel deficient. Not that I don't have friends, I do. Really amazing ones, I just don't have hundreds or even dozens of them. Even when I was drinking, although I was surrounded with dozens of people on an almost daily basis, being the party ringleader that I was, I could always count the number of people I considered as close friends on one hand. But somehow all those people around me made me feel better about myself, from the outside it looked like I was loved, I must be really worthy if I had all those people hanging around me. Now. the fact that I am no longer in the midst of all that humanity, makes me question if I'm all that likeable. Ironically, I like myself a lot better now than I like me back then.

Speaking of fb, I posted a meme on my Kary May Hickey facebook page that says, "As I get older, I'm becoming more selective of who I consider a friend, I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies."

So today, I'm trying to remember to be grateful for the $1.50 worth of quarters I always have in my back pocket instead of regretting the bottle of pennies I left sitting on the shelf.

How The Heck Are You?

Thursday, July 27, 2017

How The Heck Are You 7/27/17: Woo-woo, woo-woo. Woo-woo, woo-woo. (Hum The Twilight Zone Theme)

Gosh, you know what? I really don't have much to report on today. I've had a long stretch of laziness this summer-except for when the granddaughter's been here. I need some motivation. I need to just do what I need to do. I need to get off my a$$ and go for a long walk, eat something that resembles a vegetable, do something with my hair!

Just one of those days when the self-improvement to do list seems endless. I am drowning in being gloriously human.

On another topic, I've been reading books about psychics, near death experiences,  and reincarnation this summer. Currently reading, "Many Lives, Many Masters," and according to what this "prominent psychiatrist" has discovered from the past life regressions of one of his patients, we carry our vices on to our next life if we don't conquer them here. Like one lifetime of battling booze ain't enough.

Really interesting stuff, if you believe in that kind of thing, and I kinda think I do. Oh and I really liked, The Light Between Us: Stories from Heaven. Lessons For The Living."

What are you reading this summer? And...

How The Heck Are You?

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Hot Stuff!

I knew I liked this guy for a reason-and not just because he's hotter than Papa Bear's porridge. I just want to squirt some honey on him and slurp him right up.

Thursday, July 20, 2017


“I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of the hunger for life that gnaws in us all.” 
― Richard WrightBlack Boy

Those of us who have quit drinking are often asked what it took to finally break those chains. I don't know about the rest of you but I struggle with the answer because I can't really explain why that day, almost six years ago was the day. It just was and I'm so glad.

I've seen others try to explain it through the years, but this morning I read an especially beautiful description and plea called out from the mountain top over at Finding A Sober Miracle. I  so loved her comment that if you could look into the future and see your life and who you will be when you are sober, you'd quit right now.

I think it's so worthy of being shouted from every mountain top so here I am shouting it from mine: Read it!

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Real Estate

As some of you know, I live in Mexico in the winter. In the ten years that we have spent our winters there, somehow. through a quagmire of circumstances and disappointing expectations, we have ended up with three properties there. For the last three years we have rented out two of them and it has been hell-I am not cut out for the hospitality industry, anytime someone  complains I want to throw all their money back at them to make them shut up. I find myself talking potential renters out of renting our properties just so I don't have to deal with them. lol

Now, it looks like we might be selling both of the rental properties which leaves us with a small casita that consists of one room that serves as both living area and bedroom, a bathroom and small kitchen. It is located in  a small fishing village in which only four others gringos live. I am so thrilled, really, to be free of the complications of the last few years and to have the opportunity to live very simply. 
To take some time to contemplate what and where we want our future to be. To take some time to just be. I

I remember how I escaped to Mexico from living on our boat, thinking a change of scenery and a new start was what I needed to combat my drinking. It didn't work, my drinking problem steadily grew regardless of being uprooted. Now, it is so liberating to know that I am no longer escaping anything, I'm just living light. It reminds me a lot of when I first gave up drinking, the possibilities seem boundless, but at the same time, just staying in place and living life day by day, without encumbrance, is very appealing. 

How The Heck Are You?