Thursday, April 21, 2011
A Love Letter
One of my followers commented the other day that I hadn't mentioned my Co-writer in a while. For those of you that just started reading this blog and haven't read back through the archives, my Co-writer is God. Now that may freak some of you out and you may not believe and that's okay. I don't get all preachy and most of the time after reading some of my posts you'll probably find it ludicrous that I claim a writing partnership with Him. Does He know about this? But every time I sit down to type one of these blogs I do ask Him to guide me to write what He wants me to say to help myself and whoever is reading this blog. I think I've been ignoring Him lately so today I put off writing until I really felt that I was listening to Him. So here goes
I've noticed on MMlist (Moderation Management mailing list) that many of you are going on this journey for the first time. And I've noticed that some of us that have been on this journey for a long time are getting discouraged. I should mention that I am on Day 6 of abs'ing. Usually by now I'm euphoric and my mind is racing and I'm going to save the world, or at least myself. That's not happening for me this time. Although there is a lot of extraneous crap going on that is adding to this, I can't blame my despair totally on that. I've become skeptical. I've been on this journey for at least 4 years. I no longer believe that this time is going to be "the time" I figure it all out. I still hope it is but I don't believe it is. So in the midst of all this, I asked for inspiration and I was told to take a letter from my Co-writer. (If you don't believe just pretend it is from me.)
Please don't give up. You have come so far and I am so proud of you. Do you know how hard it is to even admit you have a problem? So many people don't. I am so glad that you did. I was worried about you. I wish I could make this easy for you but if it were easy it would be too easy to go back to where you were. There are lessons you have to learn along the way to make you stronger than you were. I know they are hard and I know they are painful. Remember when you were a child and you touched a hot stove, it hurt and you cried but you never did it again. I wish this was that easy. I wish I could keep you from that damn stove but I can't. You have to do it yourself. You keep coming back thinking this time it won't burn you. But it always does. I don't like to see you hurt. Please keep trying to stop. I will help you. You can do this. We can do this together. You don't know how strong you are, but I do. I know you will learn to stop hurting yourself if you just don't give up.
I wish I could promise you that all your problems will disappear if you just stop drinking, but they won't. People that don't drink have problems, too. I can promise you that you will be strong enough to handle your problems. I can promise you that you will have the peace of mind that you did your best. I can promise you the pride in being the best person you can be. Can I promise you happiness? No. Nobody is happy all the time. Happiness is temporary. But I can promise you contentment that lasts.
I know you are doing your best.
I'm not giving up on you. Don't you dare give up on yourself.
I love you. I want you to love yourself.
P.S. Today I'm out there doing my best not to edit my Co-Writer.