Day 13 of abs. The sun is shining up here in the Rockies at 6 am this morning and it looks like a gorgeous day ahead. However, that was not the story yesterday when I took my gambol up the mountain. As I started out there was a lovely mist shrouding the mountainside but soon the mist turned into big fat droplets of rain. My first instinct was to turn back to my cabin and the comfort of the fire in my woodstove but then I thought, "What's a little rain?" It reminded me of a movie I watched a long time ago. "Instinct" is a movie about a man, played by Anthony Hopkins, who goes to live with the gorillas in Africa. In one scene Hopkins has finally won the trust of the gorillas and is sleeping with them in their "camp". It starts to rain and Hopkins grabs a large banana leaf to cover his face. He looks over at his gorilla friend and sees that he has his face turned up to the rain with a blissful look on his face. Old Tony then removes the leaf and does the same. (At least that's the way I remember it, it's been a long time since I've seen the movie.)
For me that banana leaf is alcohol. Anytime I feel a little discomfort I want to pull that leaf over me to shield me. Bored, unhappy, stressed, hungover…I'd better go pick a leaf. Pretty soon I was wearing that leaf all the time. The problem with that is not only does the leaf keep the rain from getting in, it also dims the sunshine just like alcohol prevented me from fully experiencing all the good things in my life. So now I'm throwing off the leaf. I know I'm exposing myself to all those unpleasant feelings but a plant not only needs sunshine to grow, it needs rain. Likewise, those undesirable feelings are necessary for my growth because only after I have endured them can I fully appreciate the wonderful things in my life.
Did any of this make sense?
Oh well, today I'm out there doing my best to let the sunshine in but singing in the rain, if need be.
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