Monday, June 12, 2017
Today would have been my mother's 85th birthday. Happy Birthday Ruth! If you read my book or if you've read my blog from the beginning, you know what effect my mother's death had on my drinking. (sly book promotion in case you didn't notice.) Mom was the steward of my guilt and my moral compass, and while she was alive, I still drank too much but fear of my mother finding out kept it somewhat in check. When she died it was like someone left the barn door open and I was free to gallivant in the open pastures of drunkenness as wildly as I wanted. However, since I'm a big believer in the after life I knew Mom was still watching and guilt was still astraddle, no matter how hard I tried to throw it off. Gotta tell you, guilt is one fucking-oops! sorry, mom- expert horseman/horsewoman.
Today, I know my mother is proud of me and guilt is no longer hitching a ride. I can't begin to describe how light that feels.
How the Heck Are You?