Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What A Difference A Year Makes

And so we remained till the red of the dawn began to fall through the snow gloom. I was desolate and afraid, and full of woe and terror. But when that beautiful sun began to climb the horizon life was to me again.
Bram Stoker

Day 43
I was out shoveling snow at 6 am this morning so Stanley, the blind killer bichon, could do his business. And you know what I was smiling. I remember a year ago at about this same time (I know this because I had packed some Halloween boxes for my grandkids and I couldn't get them to the post office partly because of the snow and partly because I was so drunk/hungover) we had been snowed in for days and I had drunk up all the bourbon, rum, and wine in the house. I couldn't sleep and I sat up all night sipping sherry (which before this I only cooked with) and watching it snow. When I ran out of sherry, I went digging through the cabinets and found another bottle. I hid the empty one under the couch because DH didn't know about the second bottle and he would still think I was nursing the first one. I emptied the second one, too and started on the vodka, which I never drink. The withdrawal from this binge was unholy.

I know that a year ago I could have never looked into the future to this day when I'm healthy and happy and chasing my dream of writing a book. I couldn't even see myself through the next day back then. If you're sitting there hungover this morning or are fighting that urge just take a few minutes to envision yourself a year from now and where you want to be. It will be so much better than anything you could imagine today.

What a difference a year makes. It's a miracle I'm here today.

So today I out there just doing my best to keep my path cleared and thanking God for his wondrous imagination.

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