Monday, October 17, 2011

Sincerely Beautiful

Everyone must choose one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. ~Jim Rohn
Day 34

Hi gang! I took that road trip to Cloudcroft, NM on Saturday and I absolutely loved it. Cloudcroft reminded me of the little mountain villages my parents used to take us to when I was growing up. One main street with a clutter of shops and cafes, a tiny outdoor skating rink, modest homes, rustic old cabins, and RV's and campers scattered up the winding streets. It's a place where you could let the kids run wild and you wouldn't have to worry about them getting into trouble.

We stayed at a little compound of cabins that looked like they were built in the 1930's, ours was one bedroom and had a fireplace. I could see myself holing up there for the whole winter, it had everything you needed and none of all that stuff you don't need.

We went to an apple festival in High Rolls, a little town about 5 miles down the mountain. I got a caramel apple. Its tart juice mingled with the sweet caramel and ran down my chin, it was the most delicious thing I can remember tasting since I don't remember when. Oh, and by the way, I am starting the Atkins diet today. I know it's not the best for long term weight loss, I did it for 2 years once and I'm just now to the point I can look at a piece of cheese without gagging, but I've got to break these sugar cravings come hell or high water.

We left the festival and went back to our little cabin and just relaxed outside and admired the fall foliage. And I wanted a drink the whole time, I mean the whole damn day I was thinking about a glass of wine. Red or white, either one would have suited. So I started talking myself through the drink. I told myself that a glass of wine wasn't going to make the leaves brighter, or the sun warmer, or me happier. If it did, it would be a temporary false brilliance, a temporary false warmth, a temporary, false joy. Fleeting at best, and fading quickly to a lingering dullness.

I also told myself that maybe if I made it through this urge and the next one and the next one, just maybe someday I could sit in the warm beautiful autumn afternoon sun and not think about drinking.

It must have worked because I didn't have that glass of wine. The next morning I got up and took a walk before we had to pack up to leave. Along the way I met a man who was probably in his 90's who was sitting up on his balcony. He hollered down at me about the beautiful morning and I stopped to talk. He went on to tell me how he had come to live in Cloudcroft, and that it was a surefire sign from God when his truck needed jumping and the man that stopped to help him just happened to have the cabin from whose balcony he was chatting with me up for sale. My affable new friend said, "If heaven ain't like Cloudcroft, I don't want to go."

I had to agree with him wholeheartedly and sincerely.

Today I'm just out there doing my best to keep it sincerely beautiful and reminiscing about that caramel apple while I gnaw on my cheese.

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