Neighbor Kary May's Radio Show

“Don't give up before the miracle happens.”

― Fannie Flagg, I Still Dream About You

Day 25 (I actually count this out every day instead of just adding one more day on to yesterday’s total. It’s as if I can’t believe it unless I count it)


One more reason not to drink: If you leave your purse out in the car because someone else is paying, you don’t have to run back out to get your ID when some fresh faced, perky breasted twenty-something asks for your ID and giggles after you order a glass of wine. Just one more thing.

Hey it’s Saturday again. That means it’s another “Act Like I’m Not A Drunk,” or “Act Like I Didn’t Used To Be A Drunk,” or whatever I’m calling Saturdays these days, Saturday. How about a, “Praise Jesus and Pass The Ammunition I Don’t Have A Hangover Saturday.” I know that doesn’t make any sense but I love the saying “Praise Jesus and Pass the Ammunition.”

Anyway…There is a character in several of Fannie Flagg’s novels named Neighbor Dorothy. I remember when Fannie Flagg was a celebrity game show contestant way back before she wrote “Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Café,” aka just “Fried Green Tomatoes.” Yes, Dan Quayle there is an “e” in the plural form of tomato as there is in the plural form of potato. Once more I’ve jumped tracks (get it?). I’m just plumb full of “Piss and Vinegar” (another one of my favorite sayings) today.

Okay, where were we? Oh yeah, Neighbor Dorothy used to host a radio show in her living room. Mother Smith would play the organ and sing and someone was always stopping by with a pineapple upside down cake or a rhubarb pie and they would talk about all the recent happenin’s like who had a baby and who’s bursitis was flaring up. So I think I should have Neighbor Kary May’s Radio Hour here on my blog every Saturday. We can sit around and talk about who’s SO is being “poopy” and what we’re reading or who’s going to be voted off DWTS. Anything except alcohol because it’s “Act Like We’re Not Drunks” Saturday. I hear that there is some difficulty commenting on this but if you just post under Anonymous, it’s easy and then I get an email before it is posted to the site and you can tell me who you are, or not, and if you want me to publish your name, or not.

Now let’s see, I can’t sing or play the organ, thank my Co-writer, but I can tell jokes. That used to be my specialty when I was still “you know whatting” (remember we’re not talking about the “a” word). This was my most requested joke.

Did you hear about the Southern belle that went to New York City for a visit and when she got back she had all of her southern belle lady friends over for brunch? No? Well, let me tell you.

(In my best whickey- laced, southern voice,)

“Ladies, ladies gather round. Did you know in New Yahhk City, the have men that keess othah men?”?

All the southern bells fan themselves and say “Oh my!”

“Ye-es, and they call them homosexuals. But that’s not all. Did you know in New Yahhk City they have women that keess othah women?”

Fan, fan, fan. “Oh my!”

“Ye-es, and they call them lesbians. But that’s not all. Gather close. Did you know in New Yahhk, City they have men that will keess you on your private pahhts.”

Fan, fan, fan. Flutter, flutter, flutter. “Oh My! What do you call them?”

“We-ell,” (fan with one hand, and then delicately place it the over throat,) when I caught my breath, I called him Precious.”

(Applause)

I guess I can’t serve any rhubarb pie or pineapple upside down cake either but I can pass on my recipe for the Crème Brulee French Toast I served at my brunch. This is a little bit of heaven right here on earth and I don’t even like sweets that much. At least I didn’t used to but that was before I gave up you-know-what. I left on the crusts and served it with Maple Pecan Syrup but a couple people said it didn’t need the syrup. Treat yourself and fix it for breakfast tomorrow morning.

Crème Brulee French Toast Casserole

Ingredients

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1 cup packed brown sugar

2 tablespoons corn syrup

6 French bread

5 eggs

1 1/2 cups half-and-half cream

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon brandy-based orange liqueur (such as Grand Marnier®)(I don't hold with the theory that we can't cook with you-know-what, but if you do, leave this out.)

1/4 teaspoon salt

Directions

1.Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Mix in brown sugar and corn syrup, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Pour into a 9x13 inch baking dish.

2.Remove crusts from bread, and arrange in the baking dish in a single layer. In a small bowl, whisk together eggs, half and half, vanilla extract, orange brandy, and salt. Pour over the bread. Cover, and chill at least 8 hours, or overnight.

3.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Remove the dish from the refrigerator, and bring to room temperature.

4.Bake uncovered 35 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven, until puffed and lightly browned.



Signing off now.

So today I’m just out there doing my best to stay “tuned in” and be nice to “perky” little waitresses. Praise Jesus and Pass the Ammunition!