Joanna Eberhart: How do I look?
Bobbi Markowitz: Can I be perfectly honest?
Joanna Eberhart: Mm-hmmm.
Bobbi Markowitz: You kind of look like Betty Crocker.
Joanna Eberhart: I know.
Roger Bannister: At Betty Ford.
--Quote from the movie: Stepford Wives
Bobbi Markowitz: Can I be perfectly honest?
Joanna Eberhart: Mm-hmmm.
Bobbi Markowitz: You kind of look like Betty Crocker.
Joanna Eberhart: I know.
Roger Bannister: At Betty Ford.
--Quote from the movie: Stepford Wives
Day 227 of Sobriety
I just finished knitting a super cute scarf for one of the Elves to take to the owner of a Bed and Breakfast that donated a stay for one of our toy drive raffles. She wanted to take the owner a bottle of wine but I chirped, "No, let me knit something up, it won't take any time at all."
I fear that I am becoming some freaky Stepford Wife, the Recovering Alcoholic Edition. I've noticed that people I used to party with have started avoiding me and refuse to meet my perky, zealous stare. I think they are afraid I might try to convert them or knit them a turtle neck dickie or toilet paper cozy on the spot.
When my friend introduced me to her new clients the other night she said, "This is Kary, you should buy some of her peanut brittle tomorrow at the funky market, she's a wonderful cook. You should see her flowerbed, she really has a green thumb. Have you read her blog (the other one)? I love the way she writes."
Squirming and wanting to throw a little tarnish on my shiny new reputation, and not wanting to run off a perspective new friend, I said, "Yeah, but I really suck at blow jobs."
So this morning I am feeling a little defensive, petulant, and ridiculously sorry for myself. My two year old self has been whining all morning, "Why does everybody like "so and so" better than me, why does she get more comments? How come "so and so" and "so and so" don't follow my blog? Why didn't anybody comment on my excellent comment on the message board?"
Wah! Wah! Wah! So childish and so not the purpose of this blog. Please push the Ignore button.
P.S. Linda B, Thank you for your kind comment this morning. As you can tell, I needed it. Thanks to all of you that take the time to comment.
P.P.S. T, thank you for being my friend, in good and bad. Have you made any chocolate chip cookies lately? Bring 'em over, I'll knit you something. And, OMG! Don't you think I resemble Bette in that picture?
It's one of the downsides of this whole blogosphere thing, I can see that it would become almost a replacement addiction! I'm always checking to see have I got any new comments? Why aren't I getting comments on this post? What are my stats like? Etc etc. Definitely plays with your head and your ego a bit, makes you feel good and powerful when it's going well and then vulnerable and exposed when you think it's not. I always try and remind myself, first and foremost, it's for me and my recovery. I write to help me get my thoughts clear and to chart this journey so I can't forget what I'm going through. I love having you here because we're at the same stage, and I love your honestly and I'm completely and utterly intrigued by your life! Such a different life to mine! Feels very exotic from down here in NZ. Take care, you rock, all that matters is that we have lifted ourselves out of addiction, something many many people find extremely difficult to do. Lots of love xxxx (Is sucking at Blow Jobs an oxymoron?)
ReplyDeleteWe're just a couple of blog whores, aren't we? Ja Ja Ja
ReplyDeleteWay back when I started this blog, I had no idea why I was doing it, who was going to read it, there was just the insistent voice of my Co-writer in my head urging me on. To be truthful, the only reason I started joining message boards was to pimp my blog. Look where that got me. It got me sober.
I love you Kary! You are the bomb dot com and I would wear your scarf and eat your brittle happily!! Screw those other people!!
ReplyDelete;-)
Lulu (who really likes you saying that you "suck" at blow jobs...sounds to me like you've got if figured out...