Sunday, April 1, 2012

Timeshare For Sale

 It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! ~Mark Twain

Day 211  (7 months) of Sobriety

When we first came to Mexico we got caught in one of those time-share traps, you know the kind where you don’t realize what you’ve stumbled into until they have you locked in a room with some ferocious salesman with spittle flying from his zealous lips as he tries to sell you on a fractional non-ownership of some condo in a resort full of legions of rapidly reproducing condos, all with the same DNA. (If I was still drinking I’d never be able to find my way home after happy hour.)  You keep trying to escape but he just keeps going and going and going until you finally succumb to Stockholm Syndrome and sign on the dotted line.  And all you wanted was the free breakfast buffet.

Drinking was like that for me, I kept walking through doors trying to find the escape route but I’d just end up in another room with another bottle doing its damnedest to convince me to stay.

Last night I went out with a whole bunch of mi amigos and had a blast.  I won’t bore you with the details but we ended the night at a carnival in the square of our little village where we boarded the “Disco Bus”, a double decker disco thumping, petrol wheezing jalopy that careened through the streets as we ducked low lying high-wires and tree branches, laughing our asses off the whole way.  Then we decided to try our skill at the bumper cars and loteria.  Finally at midnight we made our way back through the streets to our cars, all of us exclaiming of the fun we’d had, the unique and wonderful place that we had found ourselves and each other in, and how much brighter the stars were shining down on us last night.  They were drinking and I was not and not once during our whole evening did I envy them, not once did I think, “A drink sure would make this more enjoyable.”  I’ve finally made it to that point. 


This morning I awoke rejuvenated, not even missing that hour the time change stole from me last night, and as usual I walked into the village for my conchinita pibil and fresh squoze OJ.  My friends are probably not appreciating the fun we had last night as much this morning, they still have a timeshare with booze and it still claims its dues.  I don’t begrudge them that.  I enjoyed the same timeshare for a long time and thought the price I paid was fair, but then booze’s HOA started extracting more and more maintenance tolls from me and all of my Red and Diamond and Platinum Plastic (as in credit card) weeks turned to blackout dates.

So today my timeshare is up for sale, I don’t have time to share with booze anymore.  I’m too busy enjoying full ownership of my life.

P.S.  I know I said I would write Part II of Coming Clean but my pink cloud showed back up for a revisit and I’m lovin’ life too much right now.

And Glory Hallelujah it’s fixin’ to rain!!

Oh and, 

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  1. Ha!!!! I feel your joy all the way Down Under!!!!! What a fantastic sounding night. Those really fun nights really are really fun without booze eh!!! (I went to a boring party on Saturday night and it really was boring. As a result I felt very sober, but it would have been boring even if I'd been drinking). Great news and oh, I am crowning you queen of the elaborate metaphors! xxxx

    1. You may call me, "Your Highness." I've suffered through a few of those snorefests myself.

  2. Well written! I loved it. Keep on with the great stories!

  3. It is good to hear that you didn't have any problem in your timeshare. I hope all people who are in this kind of deal will also be like yours.