Picking Up Where I Left Off

“As we plant in tears, we shall harvest with joy.” 
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

First my apologies. I don't know if anyone will still be out there following this blog, but I am sorry for abandoning this blog for so long. I found myself spread too thin and I let the thing that got me started on this path, go. That just doesn't seem right, does it? So, I'm back.

I'm not sure how much more I have to say on the issue of drinking, I think I've said everything and if what I've said in the past wasn't enough to get anyone to change their life where drinking is concerned, than I doubt anything I say further on the subject, will do the trick. I have come to believe it is a decision that each person makes when we've decided to quit lying to ourselves and telling ourselves that we can keep doing what we've been doing and still have the life that God intended for us.

We've got to decide we want to find that life, more than we want to keep drinking, or getting drunk. Yes, I still believe that moderation-because I've seen it- is a possibility for some people, but unfortunately, for our generation, and in our current society, admitting we have a drinking problem still has so many negative connotations attached to it, we tend to wait until our chances at gaining back control are very slim. Still possible, for some, but not without a lot of work and time spent, and more commitment by the barrels than quitting completely takes. It puts off finding that intended life just that much longer. I base that on what I see day in and day out  over at Moderation Management. The ones that find peace the quickest, are the ones that quit.

But, don't fret,  I'm not quite bottomed out on the subject. I still run into lessons every day in pursuit of personal growth where the lessons I learned when quitting drinking apply. I've been participating in the Best Lent Ever Series and, yes, while it reminds me of so many familiar lessons, it also brings home the fact that I am now free to use those lessons on other areas of my life. Catholic or not, I think this series is phenomenal-and the daily videos are short but packed with opportunities of self-reflection-and, no, they're not paying me to say that. lol


One thing I've realized is how much drinking stunted my growth in all areas of my life, for most of my life. If you looked at my life from the outside, you might not see it, especially in my early drinking years. I was ambitious. I formed a family, I went to school three different times, completing degrees each time. I excelled at work. All the while drinking very heavily and waking up every morning hungover. I worked hard to get where I got, but, now I wonder how much further I could have gone. The last decade of my drinking became solely focused on managing my drinking, just trying to get through the day, there was definitely nothing left to give to other areas of growth. Then, the last two years of of my drinking were spent on trying to quit drinking. You cannot imagine what the landscape looked like to me once I cleared alcohol out of my fields. For the first time, I could see clearly what I had to work with, who I was, and what areas were easy to cultivate and grow things in and what areas were full of rocks that needed to be dug up and cleared. One field at a time. I definitely have a better idea of what areas I'm virtuous in and what areas need more fertilizer and less manure. Lol