Okay, back on the path. And speaking of paths…I went for a walk in a new park today. It had a great path. One that was, of course, unfamiliar to me. Parts of it were wooded and curved and I couldn’t see what was beyond the next bend. There were some straightaways where I could see far enough ahead that I could see that they were taking me in the direction I wanted to go, others, I could tell, were going to take me far out of the way and I turned back. Several times I ended up in places I’d already been before. Some of it was shady, some of it was sunny. Part of the path was on uneven ground and some of it was over smooth walkways. Tomorrow I’ll be a little more familiar with the path, but I’ll probably still stumble a couple of times. I might get lost and end up in a place I’ve been before. I can only pray that it is a place I want to be or if it’s not that I can find my way back to the right path.
The new path I’ve decided to take in my journey to control my drinking is: A 30 day abs and then one more, very committed, very structured, very determined, very disciplined attempt at moderation. If I fail then I will permanently abs. I’m sure I’ve probably planned this route before, but I’m going to try it one more time. It’s kind of like a dream vacation that I’ve dreamed of taking for years and it keeps getting cancelled for one reason or another. I still believe if I’m determined enough it will happen.
So today I’m out there doing my best to map this path out.
I Kary! I am really curious to know how you are feeling when you start absing. I, as you can see by my bog, feel weird and crappy. Not the typical shaking, delirious stuff you see on the movies. More of a restless yet exhausted, grumpy way. Am I alone? Do you feel the same way? Does this mean I am seriously physically addicted. I am glad that I have found someone to embark on this journey with. I agree that sometimes it is hard to keep reading posts of people who are doing great. I feel really happy for them and hope i can be there someday, but I want to know that I am not alone on my journey to get to that place.
ReplyDeleteI can pretty well predict exactly how the first week is going to go day by day, I've been through it so many times. I do feel weird for the first 3 days, exhausted, anxious, still funny little heart bumps every now and then and a little shaky. 4th day I'm okay but I get a serious case of the shits (sorry but I said I'd be truthful). I figure this is because my cells are finally taking a fresh breath and expelling all those toxins I've forced on them. In the past by the fifth day I was feeling great and optimistic because I thought I had it licked but now I realize it's not that easy. I am easily irritated, expecially around drink time but also at other times. I think that is normal. Have you ever been around a smoker that is trying to quit? Yikes! It's horrible. I hope you get to feeling better.
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