Monday, August 30, 2010

Halfway Is Better Than No Way

Sobriety is not likely to give us the equivalent of the euphoria we got from drinking, but a great sense of well-being based on realistic expectations is more satisfying than the ridiculous mental states we sought in drinking. Living the right kind of life will bring its own rewards. ~Walk in Dry Places
I borrowed this from an especially wonderful blog that I have been lurking on for years, Attitude of Gratitude. At times it, and other blogs, have been my salvation in my "lone" quest for sobriety.
Today is day 15 of abstinence for me. I haven't felt that euphoric rush that I've experienced in my other recovery attempts. Maybe I've become disillusioned. Maybe I've become realistic that this is not that easy or simple. A few days of sobriety does not a lifetime make. So I'll celebrate my halfway mark with some trepidation and keep watching my step.
I was watching a Katrina 5 year anniversary report on the news the other night and they were interviewing a priest whose church had been destroyed in the hurricane. It had been quite a struggle to rebuild the church and it still had a ways to go. The priest said, "If you look at the progress on a daily basis it can seem overwhelmingly futile. But if you look back on a few days, a week, a month and see how much you have accomplished, then you recognize your accomplishment." That rings so true in my reconstruction project on myself. On a day to day basis a walk, a bed made, a meal cooked, a telephone call made, an apology offered doesn't seem like much but multiply that by 15 and it seems like quite an endeavor for me, especially compared to the past. Even more remarkable is the register of the things I didn't do. No hangovers, no sleepless nights, no drunken phone calls, no bodily injuries, no burned bridges, no lost memories. I can still experience euphoria and the good thing is won't be drowned in recrimination the next day.

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