Thursday, September 16, 2010

Back From the Vacation To Hell

Three Things I have to be grateful for today: I'm back in CO, the aspens are turning, and I am back to being sober.

Yikes, I thought I had posted that I had fallen and hard. See that's how bad it was, it's a complete blur. Day 18 and I thought what the heck I'll have one and I'll just moderate. Kerpow! The proverbial snowball. From that first drink I start trying to drink myself back to "normal" which means I have to drink just to function until I can't function anymore and then the weaning process starts. Luckily, I did well weaning myself off (it was still utter hell) but today, a new Day One for me was easy and such a relief. I took a hike up my mountain this morning (4 days ago I could barely get up the stairs.). The sun was shining, the aspens are turning and I set down by the creek for a minute just to think. And I burst into tears. I don't see another Day One as a failure, I'm just so f'ing happy and relieved I made it back. I kind of knew when I started this 30 that it was a bad time for me because of this trip coming up but now I have a new resolve and about 60 days in front of me that I get to practically be a hermit.  Life is good today!

I will post about the Vacation to Hell next week when I have more time to write. I feel lucky to be alive.

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