Monday, September 20, 2010

Clean Underwear Day

Day 5 of abstinence (alcohol abstinence in case you stumbled on this site by accident). At least I think it's Day 5. I'm not keeping track that strictly this time. If you've been to Day 5 as many times as I have you don't get real excited about it anymore. But still it's something to celebrate. It beats the hell out of the alternative. So here I go, "Woohoo, Day 5! High 5, Day 5!" Okay, 'nuff of that nonsense. Soberworld is just okay today. As you can tell I'm not giddy, but I'm not depressed either. I'm wary, worried and most of all weary. Probably because I was up at 5:30 am which was 4:30 am yesterday because yesterday I woke up on Mountain Time and this morning I woke up on Central Time. Plus I woke up several times last night and instantly panicked because I thought I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep but then I had to remind myself that I wasn't drinking and I hadn't drank in 5 days (see above) and I should be able to sleep fine. So I'm sitting here at this faux cherrywood desk in this oh-so-familiar hotel room and there is a 1.75 liter of Jack Daniels sitting right to the left of me over in the entertainment center. A month ago, hell a week ago during my vacation from hell, I would have poured me a little toot just to get the juices going. I thought about it this morning, but just for a millisecond because while driving from Mountain Time to Central Time yesterday we came upon a wreck on the side of the road. It didn't look bad. No broken glass. No desperate black tire marks. Just a person. On the side of the road. Lying down. Head and body completely covered with a tarp. Except for one foot with a gray sock on it. So I'm not going to have that rejuvenating toot this morning because I know I don't want to be drunk or hung-over when I die. I know a lot of people enter heaven in that state, I don't want to. I wonder if there is a holding tank at the "pearly gates" for us drunks. Does St. Peter have a breathalyzer or make you walk toe-to-toe before you get in. Maybe you have to quote obscure scripture passages. If so, I'm screwed even if I'm sober. I've always said, "I'm Catholic. We don't read the bible we just believe whatever the priests tell us."
So today I'm out there doing my best to find my sunny disposition and no, I don't think I'm going to die today but I'm abstaining and wearing clean underwear just in case. And saying a prayer for those on the side of the road.

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