Monday, April 17, 2017

Still Kicking!

I'm not really sure why I haven't blogged recently, I guess I could say my life has gotten too busy, that I had to let something slip and my blog is what slipped. 

And, that would be true. Believe me, I'm not one of those who got sober and then left all of this muddling about in the muddy recovery trenches for higher ground, I depend on all that muddling about to remind me that I've made it out and want to stay out. Telling others every day that I am sober, is necessary for me to stay sober. Because, believe me, if I thought no one was looking or noticing, it would be so easy to slip. By staying sober for others, I stay sober for myself.

So, where have I been?  I spend a lot of my time, the majority of my time, the cap'n would say, over on the Moderation Management sites. Between the MM forum, the MM listserv, mmabsers (yes, MM has a community for those of us who have chosen not to drink at all), the MM Public Hub and the MM facebook page. Oh yeah, and in the MM Abs Chatroom on Wednesday nights.

I'm not listing all of those communities to say, "Hey, look at me and everything I do." Instead, I list them to show what it takes to keep me sober. For me, sobriety is work and while I still marvel at non-hangover mornings and sleep-filled nights, those are not enough for me to stay sober. I have to stand up in my virtual recovery world every day and say, "Hi, my name is Kary May, I'm an alcoholic and I'm not drinking today." These online communities are my smoky church basements. Some people would say, "You've replaced one addiction for another." and they're probably right, but this addiction isn't going to kill me and if I help a few people along the way, more better.

I am also not saying that anyone else has to become or should become this involved in the recovery world to stay sober, some people quit drinking and ride off happily into those glorious sunsets never to be heard from again. And, that's okay. Not everyone wants to be career soldiers. But, I do think you have to find a replacement addiction, but let's not call it an addiction, instead let's call it a purpose.

Too many times we wait until something horrible happens to change our drinking. Too many times that is a temporary change, just until the memories of horribleness and regret change.  What if instead, we chose a good reason to make that change. A new purpose. 

Ok, I know. We all already know that is the best way to go, don't we? But we don't do it. We think we can pursue that new purpose and still drink. The thing is, until you have crawled out of that miserable muddy trench and off the battlefield, you can't imagine the possibilities are waiting for you. You can't. You have to take a chance and believe. 

There is something amazing waiting for you. A purpose. And as I told myself long ago, "I know that purpose is not to go through life as a drunk."

As is my usual form, I've wandered totally off track and I wasn't even sure what track I was on to begin with. 

Thank you, to those who wrote and checked to make sure I was okay. I am. I'll try to do better about reporting in and stopping by to see all of you wonderful bloggers on your own blogs, but one reason I could abandon my post here for so long is because I know that that there are so many other amazing soldiers out on this battlefield saving lives. Don't sell yourselves short, that is what you're doing.


  1. Thank you. I am happy you are ok.
    Taking time to support others in recovery is a calling. I know my personal involvement online keeps me sober and grateful.

    Helping others is what life is all about. Big or small.


  2. Hi Kary May!
    So happy to hear from you!
    I know when people commented on my blog, it helped me stay sober, so I now comment on other people's blogs!

  3. Believe me, Kary, you are saving lives every time and everywhere you post. Thank you so much for hanging in there and helping other folks on their path.

  4. I love a good old rambling post that starts in one place and ends who knows. So glad to hear an update and know that your purpose has just moved to where it is needed more. It is always good to know that there are some bloggers who will stay for the duration. I know my posts have decreased as I don't feel the need to post or even read as regularly as I used to. Funny that you Anne and Wendy are the three that I credit most with supporting me when I was struggling over and over and here you all are commenting about supporting us weebles through the early days. You are the sober musketeers. So happy once again to read this.

  5. Kary May! so glad to see your name pop up in my reader!! I hope you are well...and to your topic, yes, regardless of how we do it, service is key. I haven't been in the rooms for over a year, but it's my constant online connection to others which keeps me going in that direction. I love that I can talk alcoholism and recovery at any time of the day - I don't have to wait for a meeting or whatnot. And regardless of where and how we do that service, the key is that we get outside of ourselves. Bless you and thanks for the update - love hearing from you!