Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Piles of Manure

1. pride or arrogance
2. (in Greek tragedy) an excess of ambition, pride, etc, ultimately causing the transgressor's ruin

Day 256

I just love when I think a word means something and I've thought this for a really long time, like a lifetime, and I find out I'm totally wrong.  The subject of my post this morning was going to be "Hubris" which I always thought of as a rich mixture of the compounds of life, a potpourri of life's little tidbits, a verdant (I probably need to look up verdant also but I'm too lazy) compost of experiences and wisdom.  It sure wasn't an overabundance of pride or arrogance that ultimately causes a transgressor's ruin.

That sounds like the transgressor was full of shit, so maybe I wasn't as far off my mark as I thought.

So anyway my post today is just little piles of manure raked up and tossed into a big smelly heap called life.

Top Layer: My friend with the cancer concerns finally went to the doctor and he did a biopsy. He called her with the results last night, "NO CANCER!" Glory Hallelujah and Yippee-ky-yi-yay!  It is just an infectious process that can be easily treated with antibiotics.  She has a brand new life today and I get to look forward without worry to seeing her whole and happy in six months when I get back here.

Middle layer: Today is my last full day in Mexico for this season.  It has been a different Mexico than the one I remember, or barely remember, from years past.  I have been sober the entire time and Mexico has become a joyful, peaceful, and vibrant home for me.  I have become the same.  I look forward to returning.

Bottom layer:  Although I'll be back on my mountain in a few short days, I won't get to stay there for long.  I'm returning back to my roots.  I'll be back in my hometown all summer working to get my nursing skills back up to snuff and maybe even acquiring some new tricks to put in ditty bag to tote with me wherever my future takes me.  It's time to reclaim some parts of my life and learn to stand on my own again, time to become whole.  Don't get excited, the cap'n and I are still traveling together but its time for him to stop carrying me.  I'm excited and nervous.  Nervous is okay. Nervous is normal.  I'm not petrified as I have been the last few times I returned to work.  Those times I didn't know what to expect from myself, this time I know to expect my best.

That's about all I have to toss on the pile this morning.  No hubris today.


  1. Hello Kary May, another great metaphor from the Queen herself. Good to hear you feeling better than the last post. What's with the Mexico/Mountains split year? I haven't quite got my head around that. Anyway .. happy travels back to your other life and good luck with the nursing thing and becoming a bit more independent (is that what I understand you're saying?). Lots of love from me xxx

  2. You thought hubris was a good thing? Hilarious. I hope you didn't ever say that someone had a lot of it meaning it as a compliment...hahaha

    Interesting how there are things that we think are one way only to find out they are the exact opposite. Booze being a good-time is one I can think of right off the top of my head.

    I'm excited to hear that you're going back to nursing--I can't wait for the updates about this new unfolding...


  3. Mrs. D the practice of splitting our year in two places started when we bought a sailboat. My kids were still in high school and junior high and lived with us for six months out of the year. We lived in KS then and we would stay there and work while the kids lived with us and then we would sail for the other six months. It was a compromise, the cap'n had moved back to a town he detested for me and took on raising 3 teenagers so I felt I owed it to him to do what he had always dreamed of, at least part time. I wasn't happy and felt terribly guilty about leaving my kids for six months of the year even if they weren't living with us. So I drank more. I already drank a lot but more was called for. When my youngest son graduated we sold all of our stuff and our house and moved onboard full time. We did that for a few years and I got more depressed and drunk and one brutally hot Bahama day the cap'n turned to me and said, "Let's go to CO." So we went and while there we bought an old cabin. After one bitter winter, the cap'n said, "No more winters in CO, let's go back to the boat." and so we started splitting our time between the boat and CO and then on another brutal Bahama day the cap'n turned to me and said, "Let's go to Mexico....(Do we see a pattern here?) Now the cap'n is making noise about quitting work and moving to MX full time and I don't want to but we can't afford to keep both places and the fucking boat that hasn't sold. So that's why I'm going back to work.

  4. Lulu, my mother always encouraged me to read beyond my level, of course she didn't know I'd be sneaking her historic romances like Rosemary Roger's Sweet Savage Love when I was eleven years old. Believe me there were things in those books I didn't find out the real meaning of for years. I was an avid reader though and the cap'n still turns to me in awe and says, "Where did you learn that?" Ja Ja Ja Oops! I mean Ha ha ha, I'm back NOB.