Thursday, December 22, 2011

100 Days!

Day 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s good to be back, I missed you guys.  It’s been a hectic couple of weeks but I won’t bore you with the details right now because, in case you didn’t hear, today is numero 100 for me.  The cap’n called this morning and told me he is proud of me, my son fb’d me last night and told me he is proud of me, my non-drinking friends told me they are proud of me, my drinking friends told me they are proud of me (and then they asked me if I would be their designated driver and best of all, I’m proud of me!  What more can a girl ask for?

I sat on my beach steps this morning before the sun came up and pondered what changes these 100 days have brought me.  They may not be visible to the naked eye but in my mind’s eye they are colossal. Here’s just a few I came up with.

  I have had 100 days of waking up rested instead of drunk, hungover, vomiting, wore out in body and soul.  I have had 100 days of self-respect instead of shame and embarrassment.  I have had 100 days of being able to smile or laugh if warranted and a lot less crying.  I have had 100 days full of expectation instead of dread.  I have had 100 days of fully appreciating my blessings instead of wishing away the hours until I could have a drink or go to bed because I was so damn tired.  I have had 100 days of hope instead of despair.  I have had 100 days of certainty instead of that damn incessantly questioning confusion. Good riddance, to that.  I have had 100 nights of dreams instead of endless hours of twisting anguish and regret.  I have had 100 days and nights of peace.

Thank You God!

When I read back over this, it does sound like I’ve just recovered from a horrible disease.  I’m so thankful that I’m choosing to recover.  It maybe later than sooner, but better late than never.

So today I’m just out there doing my best to keep this string of good fortune going for another 100 days and another and another and another…


  1. picture the biggest smile ever on my face...and a big hug for you.

    You rock, Kary May!


  2. congratulations!!! so proud of you. i love your writing!! I'm on day 11, and already feel the things you describe. freedom. :) we are choosing LIFE.

  3. Congrats on 100 days! Anything is possible! {Hope you said "Nay" on the designated driver job.}

  4. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! So great, good on you. I have sometimes (when I'm on a real sober high which I'm not right now but will be again) felt like really thanking someone for making me sober and then I realise that person is me! So thank you me and thank you you. xxxx

  5. Congratulations to 100 days! Amazing how 100 days of sobriety can be so revolutionizing, so precious.

    I too wish I had beach steps to sit on in the sunrise, to ponder - that sounded so beautiful :)

    Again, congratulations and thank you for writing this honest and inspiring blog.

    Merry Christmas, take care!