Monday, May 23, 2016

Full Circle

(The smoochy face Dandelion Princess is my granddaughter, Atalie Jolene, the other one is my son's next door neighbor's daughter, Riley. Riley decided I was her Grandma, too, this weekend.)

I've mentioned on here several times that I've worried about a lingering distance between my youngest son and I. He's the one that stuck with me through his high school years when his brothers high-tailed it to their dad's. He's the one that sometimes pointedly pointed out that he knew I'd been drinking in front of his friends back in high school.

One such scenario occurred during his Senior Prom dinner that I fixed for him and his date-now my DIL- and another couple.

"Do you think I can't tell you've been drinking," he asked as I served up the dessert.

He's the one who, when I wrote him a few weeks ago to apologize for everything and the distance between us, wrote back and said he's always been right here, the only distance has been in miles.

I went to stay with him this weekend while the daughter-in-law had a girl's weekend in Denver with some other Air Force wives. I don't know what made the difference, if it was that final apology, but the distance I'd always felt, the guilt, the uneasiness, wasn't there.

We hugged hard. We laughed hard, It was easy.

Sunday afternoon I was in the kitchen making dinner-roast beef and an apple pie-and he was next door playing cards and drinking beer with his buddies. At one point, he came into the kitchen and said, "You're more than welcome to join us."

So I did.

When I got there, one of them offered me a beer.

I said, "Sure, get me one of those."

Matt, my son, laughed. "Yeah, right."

There was never any question in his mind that I was joking.

"When was the last time you had a beer, Mom? Five years ago?" he asked in front of his buddies. And I know I heard pride in his voice.

"Just about," I answered.

With pride.


  1. What a beautiful story! You have done such a good thing for your family. Good for you!

    1. Thank you. As I told someone today, days like the one described above, make up for any missing drinking or wishing I could still drink.

  2. I agree, that is a beautiful story xx

    1. Thank you, too. I kind of feel like my work is complete-although I know it never is. I know my kids will always remember that I drank too much for too many years, but now they know, in the end, I chose them.

  3. This just made my heart smile. And the littles with dandelion wreathes are too cute!

    1. A smiling heart is a good thing. The are too cute and they wore my butt out.

  4. Adorable. Love the dandelion crowns. Forgot all about those. Such a pretty photo to accompany a beautiful piece.

    1. Alas, they were not enamored with the crowns, I could barely get them to keep them on long enough to take the pic. lol

  5. Oh I look forward to the day I am a Grandma and can squish and kiss a smoochy face like that. I am so glad that you feel the distance is gone and your feelings match your son's words. I once remember being so ashamed in front of my daughter and her 10 year old friends when they had a sleepover and I was being a silly, fun mom. My daughter jokingly said "are you drunk mom?" And I was mortified, I was stone cold sober but because I used to drink in secret (and not half as bad as more recent times) somehow I felt like I had showed her up. So pleased that you have the love of your family. Now finally forgive yourself cos that is done.

  6. I am so happy for you!
    It must feel so good to be at peace now with your son!
    And, one needs all the grandkids they can get!!