Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Ten Things You Gotta Love About Sobriety

The cap'n has been buzzing around all morning.

 Busy, Busy Bee!

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

I want to swat him, because I'm still all fuzzy headed and laying about in bed and just spent 45 minutes looking up Foghorn Leghorn quotes so I could write something really snappy to one of my friends on the Moderation Management List.  I came up, I say, I came up with nothing, so I wasted, I say, wasted 45 freakin' minutes!!  Why in the hell did I go looking to Foghorn Leghorn for inspiration this morning?

"Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!"  Goes the cap'n.

"It's amazing what you can get done when you're not hungover," says he.

"Preachin' to the choir," says I.  (And what the fruck do you think I've been trying to tell you for the last three years. But, oh yeah, I forgot, you were never hungover.  That's what you kept telling me anyway.  I guess now you know the difference)

I guess you've figured out that the cap'n is behavin' lately (a week) and that we must have had a "come to Jesus" meeting. (Yes, we did).  But more about that later.  He's decided to "essentially" quit drinking. (Can I get a collective eye roll on that?).  But he's doing pretty good so far.







He's out there digging up Coconut Trees and I'm still laying in bed.

He reminds me of what those first sober mornings felt like.

Like a Fucking Miracle.

And then I wandered over to Mrs. D's Blog this morning between my Foghorn Leghorn expeditions, and she's yammering away, lah-di-dah, zippity do-dah, and all that shit, about why she loves sobriety. 

And I said, "Fuck it, I say, fuck it, if you can't beat'em you might as well join 'em. Now listen up, ya hear, listen up."

Why I Love Sobriety:

1.)  I'm still alive.

2.)  I'm laying in bed all fuzzy headed and lazy and I can't blame drinking.  I haven't been able to         blame my drinking for anything for almost 3 whole years.

3.)  I'm a damn inspiration.  Yep, I can't deny it, I am.

4.)  There are now people who know me who never saw me drunk, they don't even know that I used to drink.  They just think I'm an uptight sober person.  Hallelujah!

5.)  I remember every single thing that happened last night.

6.)  I haven't vomited in almost 3 years, which means I haven't had to look at, smell, or clean up vomit in 3 years.

(The cap'n just reported that he's already dug up 9 Coco Trees.  He's a regular Johnny Coconut Tree)

7.)  Sober sex.  It's just easier, quicker and cleaner and a lot less theatric.  (Addition to today's "To Do" List:  Burn all those old videos.)

8.)  I can make plans for later on tonight, tomorrow, next week, next month, Christmas...because I can depend on me to be present and accountable.

9.)  I'm no longer worried about qualifying for the liver transplant list.

Drum Rollllllllllllll!!!!!!!

10.)  I love myself and life again, with all of our foibles, ups and downs, ins and outs, darks and lights, hards and easy's, goods and bads, happy and sads.  I love that I feel it and live it.

Thank you, I say, thank you, God!


  1. You forgot one!

    11) Kary May!!!!

    Oh wait...maybe that's on my list. ;-)


    1. Ahh, thank you. I've missed you so much, but that's my own damn fault, ain't it? Here I've been so lonely lately, feeling like I don't belong anywhere, and then I come back here and I remember where I belong. Thank you for being here.

  2. WHOOP!!!!!!!!!! Wow that is friggen awesome that the Cap'n is giving this a go-wow! I say again… wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So great… what an inspiration you are to us all. xxxx

    1. I was so worried you'd be mad that I said you were "yammering". Your blog was my inspiration today, as it has been so many days in the last 2.5 years. Thank you for being here with me, even when I'm not here.

  3. I think you nailed it, Kary May. Great list.

  4. Great list, Kary!! You're right, life still has its ups and downs but at least now we're actually present to ride them out. You only get one life (here, anyway, for those of you who believe in pearly gates) and why on earth did we think it was a good idea to spend our limited time essentially "not" here? Sheesh!! I say, I say, nailed it with this one. :)

    1. I don't know about those pearly gates, but I know life was hell on earth when I was drinking. I'll take the here and now and roll around in the clover of it for now.

  5. AMEN!!! Love your list :)

  6. Yes - you need to be here more sharing your light with us, dammit!! Stop getting sweaty with the Cap'n's coconuts (sorry, couldn't help myself there) and tell us what's going on!! lol.

    Listen, that's a fantastic list. Bravo to it all. But yeah, you're an inspiration...nothing wrong with saying "yeah, here I am - been there, done that, but I'm a new light, a new way and happy as hell. Suck in the energy, everyone"...ha ha.

    But thank you for this. I can't tell you how much I get out of gratitude lists. Makes me smile inside.

    Thanks for being here :)


    1. My light has felt a little erratic lately, like there's a short in it or something. Gotta get that fixed.