Wednesday, January 2, 2013


“When others in doubt, your strong belief steers.”
Toba Beta, Betelgeuse Incident

“It just be life, that's all. Ain't nothin' happened to you, ain't happened to most women whether they care to admit it or not. You strong, Babygirl. You a woman. You gotta be.”
Marilyn Fullen-Collins 

“you never know how strong you are... until being strong is the only choice you have.”
― Cayla Mills

“Where the will is strong there’ll always be a way
The dream goes on forever and a day”
― Samael

Stronger!  That is my word for the year.  I'm kind of borrowing it from Lance Armstrong's philosophy, "Live Strong," minus the performance enhancing drugs and years of lying or purported lying.  Been there, done that.

Why Stronger, not strong?

Because I already feel incredibly strong.  Stronger than I ever remember feeling in my life.  Others have always commented on what I strong person I am, but in my past I found that statement ludicrous.  Couldn't they see the real me behind the facade, the one that felt on the verge of crumbling if someone poked too hard.  The hairline cracks snaking across the eggshell thin surface, breath held tight in fear of shattering.

Then I did. Crumble and shatter, that is.  And everyone saw that it was all an act.

I could have laid there in pieces, but I didn't.  I rebuilt. Me. Stronger!

As I have mentioned before on this blog, I had a mantra that I repeated to myself as I lay in bed at night, a quivering pile of splintered shards of myself.

Dear God,
Help me,
Be Better,
(I would try to picture in my mind a healthier, whole me.  It was so hard to remember what I looked like)
Live Better,
(To have just a semblance of a life again.)
Love Better.
(To once again be able to feel real love, for myself, and others)

It worked.

I am better, I live better,  I love better.

May I present my new mantra:

Dear God,
Help me,
Be Stronger,
(physically, emotionally, spiritually)

Live Stronger,
(I have jumped so many hurdles in the last year, conquered so many fears, I feel so capable)

Love Stronger.
(Oh yeah! Watch out!)


  1. Stronger, I like that. So great. I hate that image of you crumbling desperate in your bed searching and seeking to heal yourself... I want to reach out and give that version of you a hug.. but I can't because she's gone! You are the better more fabulous (sober) version of yourself and the only way from here is up baby. Great stuff. SEnding love xxx

  2. OMG Kary, I LOVE this! What a GREAT word!

    And you know how much I love music... there are some FAB songs that feature the word STRONGER. You can make a whole cd soundtrack of STRONGER songs (Sara Evans, Kelly Clarkson, Kanye, Britney, Daft Punk, and more (and a ton more if you just go with STRONG))to keep you centered and focused during the year.

    This song helped me a lot when I was quitting drinking. Leighton Meester (?) actually sang it in the movie Country Strong, which has 2 cds of amazing songs if you like country. Hope you like it too!

    Have a great day!

  3. Ha, Ha, beat you to it, I took a cue from you and youtubed it yesterday and found all those songs. Love the Sara Evans, such a great good-bye song. Thank you!

    1. You're on the ball girl! Awesome :) If I think of any obscure songs, I'll let ya know.

      Oddly enough, I was checking the GMA Steals and Deals this morning, and they have a 50% of GoldsGym deal--and Gold's just happens to have a lot of t-shirts that say STRONGER than... on them. They're just basic tees, but the timing was rather coincidental! They're about half-way down the page here:
      I kinda like the "stronger than temptation" :)

    2. oh, duh, if you decide to get one, use promo code "gma" today only 1/3 to get 50% off.

      You can probably find a little jewelry store on Etsy, or maybe even Ellie at One Crafty Mother, who can do stamping or engraving, and find a cool necklace or bracelet with "STRONGER" featured on it. I think I'm going to do like a "dog-tag" style necklace with 3 charms stamped with my 3 words (which I still haven't written about yet, but I'm working on it!)

    3. Kool! I guess I better super glue my credit card back together. lol

    4. You are hilarious!

  4. Stronger! So great! What a way to start the year.


    You usual.


  5. Love your previous mantra and your new one. Stronger is the perfect description of what I hope for now because I do, in fact, feel strong. Not in a braggy/cocky way, but when I look back on the last 1 1/2 years, a lot of hard stuff happened and I didn't cave and now I feel stronger. If we keep doing the hard work, we will get even stronger. Love this!

  6. love this. so happy to find your blog. i look forward to reading more of it. thanks!

  7. i love this. my word for the year last year was LEAN, but stronger is such a powerful and positive word... super great :)

  8. I'm using this too. I had a crummy holiday and need some fresh influx of positive energy. Thanks.