Saturday, March 10, 2012

A Letter To My Son

Day 179

A little background:   My oldest son is 31. He is single and hasn't had a girlfriend in quite awhile because he feels he has too many financial obligations right now to take on the expense of a girlfriend. He is very pragmatic, almost to a fault.  He has a Bachelor's degree which is one of those useless degrees (he was in a hurry to graduate because his girlfriend at the time was in another college faraway). His last single best friend just got engaged at Christmas. He lost his long-time, "going nowhere" job about 6 weeks ago and immediately lucked into a well paying but also "going nowhere" job.  In the midst of his job crisis, he applied for re-admission to K-state, he received a letter a week ago that they had accepted him in the engineering program.

This is the email I sent him yesterday.  I feel so blessed, proud, relieved, hopeful,....that I am able to say these things to him. I have been very open about my struggles with him and he has been supportive all along the way.  I am so grateful that I did not destroy my relationship with my kids, I can't change the view when they look back, but I have the opportunity to make the future outshine the past.

Hey guy,
I've been thinking about your letter from K-State, as you know I'm really into miracles these days and I think God sends us miracles every day, we just have to be looking for them and be careful not to ignore them.  Some miracles are obvious and almost blinding in their brilliance, but there are some that we have to dig for, some that take a lot of work before we can fully see their beauty.  But like diamonds, these miracles are the most valuable and the longest lasting.

I think God has been saving this miracle for you, Josh.  He was waiting until he knew you were ready to do the work for it.  He knew that now is when you could fully appreciate it, that you would do the right thing with it. All those things you thought were missing from your life will be waiting for you, he needs you to concentrate on the miracle he has given you right now.

Don't worry about how you'll be able to do it, he will provide the means.  Last night when you said you might work two years to be more set financially, my first thought was, "If God wanted you to go to school in two years, he would have waited two years to send that letter."  I'm always impatient, I want things to happen right now.  Maybe you're right and that is why God provided your current job for you, maybe it is a means for you to go in the direction He has intended for you. Just don't let yourself get distracted with everything that you think needs to be in place before you go back to school, go in search of the answer of whether to go now or later.  It's there, you just have to find it and not ignore it.

I also think that God gives us miracles, but he expects us to make them grow, to pass them on, to do good with them.  I said that God waited until now because he knew you would do the right thing with His miracle. Keep that in mind, a miracle is kind of like a pyramid scheme, the more people that benefit from it, the more reward you get.  The rewards may not be what you think you need, instead, if you take care of them and let them grow where they are supposed to, they will exceed your imagination. “You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
― Maya Angelou

I also think God has given me the miracle of a second chance to be there to support you in a way I was not able to the first time you went to college. I don't know what the means will be or how I will obtain them but I have full faith that He will provide them.

I think if my Mom would have sent me this letter, I would think she was crazy. lol

Love you, 

He wrote me back and said that he didn't think I was crazy at all, he understood perfectly everything I said.

I am blessed!


  1. Is a great quote to share - I am changing direction at 36 and see myself working at something I love for the next 30 years.
    You have a lovely relationship with your son.

  2. Thank you, Bwendo, there were times I thought my relationship with him was irretrievable. I'm glad I was wrong and I'm glad neither of us gave up. I hope you are moving in the direction of your writing because it is obvious with the people you reach through your blog that you have a miracle in your hands. You inspire me.