Simple Choices

The Nativity in Progreso

"Three flamingos preening,

Two marlins leaping,

And a dead grouper in Joseph's net"

“There are days when I think I don't believe anymore. When I think I've grown too old for miracles. And that's right when another seems to happen.”

― Dana Reinhardt, The Summer I Learned to Fly

Day 118

Did you know that every time I sit down to write this blog, I think about drinking?  I don’t just think about how to expel some more wisdom about “not” drinking, no, I think about fixing a drink.  I think, “Boy, a glass of wine would sure make the words come easier” or “If I knocked back a shot of bourbon, I bet I’d be a lot wittier.”  And all that may be true.  But today I choose not to drink.  That’s what it comes down to, a simple choice.

I’m not telling anybody anything new.  Hell, Jennifer Hudson was on the Today Show this morning and when she was asked what the secret was to her “miraculous” weight loss, she replied, “I chose to lose weight.  I chose to change my life.”  It is that simple and it is that miraculous.  Every day we get to choose who we are, all day long.  We can change ourselves any time we want.  Yes, events happen that we can’t control.  Shit happens, so to speak.  But through it all we get to decide exactly who we will be.  And if we decide tomorrow or in the next hour that we want to be someone else, we can change. Miraculously.

We tell ourselves that our addiction controls us, that it takes all of our choices away from us, that it has “power” over us.  That’s just so much bullshit!  That’s just an excuse.  With a simple choice, our addiction loses all of its power.   Jennifer Hudson chooses to be skinny.  I choose to be sober.  Tomorrow or in the next hour or in the next second Jennifer Hudson could choose to eat a dozen doughnuts or I could choose to have that shot of bourbon.  But right now I choose not to. With every breath I take today and every day of my life, I get the chance make that choice.  Every day I get the chance to gather miracles.  Miracles such as trust, and respect, and peace, and joy, and dignity and hope and honor and love and…

It’s not easy, but it’s a simple choice.

So today I’m just out there doing my best to keep choosing my miracles.