I just got back from walking Miss Daisy, the timeshare dog. I decided my foot felt well enough to try the beach for the first time in over a week so we took that route home. I've only been fostering Daisy for three weeks and I've been keeping her on a pretty short leash but this morning I decided to trust her and see what she would do if I let her off the leash. She loved it. She ran around in circles and raced up and down the beach like a prisoner just released from shackles. When she got a little too far I would call her back. I could tell that she was tempted not to come back . I could tell that she really wanted to run off and find a pack of her own kind, have some fun without any rules, maybe get laid but then she realized that she was better off coming home with me where she is guaranteed three squares and a soft bed. It might not be as exciting but she knows it is better for her and her life will be easier and longer in the long run. She gave one last longing look behind her and followed me through the gate of our casa.
I figure moderation is a lot like that. At first I have to keep myself on a short lease, for me it's abstinence, so I can reacquaint myself with a life lived without alcohol and the comforts it provides. Eventually I'll have to trust myself to give myself a little more rope and hope I don't hang myself. Finally I'll have to leave the leash at home and venture out. I know at first I will be tempted to run with my old pack and go wild but I'll have to remind myself of the deathtraps waiting for me down that path. And like Daisy I'll have to make myself turn away. But also like Daisy, the longer I keep myself on that leash the easier it will be and eventually that life will have lost its siren call for me. Instead of looking back and longing for, I'll be looking forward and hoping for.
Today I'm out there doing my best to not buy any more plants that I have to plant and thanking God for Neosporin. Vaya con Dios, amigos!
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