Day 22 of abstinence from alcohol. Today I'm thankful for generous hearts and the nature sponsored light show over the mountains last night.
With three weeks of abstinence officially behind me I think I've figured out the 30 day abstinence is not some magical prescription that is going to alleviate my urge to drink or overdrink. Instead I think it is a time of reacquaintance. (Microsoft says this is not a word but I'm gonna use it anyhow). A time to reacquaint myself with what life can be without drinking. A time for others to become reacquainted with me. And especially, a time to reacquaint myself with "me". For me, it's like meeting an old friend I haven't seen for thirty plus years. I'm a little nervous. Will I recognize her? Will we have anything in common? How much has she changed? Will I still like her?
I do recognize her. She's more driven and more of a control freak then I remember (I wonder what caused that). She seems much more confident and brave. She seems so capable, I'd hate her if she wasn't me. She's funnier than I remember and her mind clicks a lot faster than mine. Oh, and she doesn't repeat herself near as much as I. She and I both have very giving natures but the difference is she is able to take action on her generous nature since she is not hindered with the handicap of drinking and its aftermath. Did I tell you that she doesn't repeat herself as much as I? She is as fashion dysfunctional as I am but she does manage to brush her teeth and comb her hair every day. We can both be a bitch at times but she knows when to put the brakes on before she causes irreparable harm. While it's a little uncomfortable at times, I think I like her. A lot! She is definitely a person I want to spend more time getting to know.
So today I'm out there doing my best to get to know "me" a little better.