Happy Last Month of Summer! That's a depressing thought which kind of fits my mood this morning. Summer always goes so fast. I'm not really depressed this morning, more kind of melancholy, reading fb posts does that to me sometimes. All those posts of parties and large groups of friends make me feel deficient. Not that I don't have friends, I do. Really amazing ones, I just don't have hundreds or even dozens of them. Even when I was drinking, although I was surrounded with dozens of people on an almost daily basis, being the party ringleader that I was, I could always count the number of people I considered as close friends on one hand. But somehow all those people around me made me feel better about myself, from the outside it looked like I was loved, I must be really worthy if I had all those people hanging around me. Now. the fact that I am no longer in the midst of all that humanity, makes me question if I'm all that likeable. Ironically, I like myself a lot better now than I like me back then.
Speaking of fb, I posted a meme on my Kary May Hickey facebook page that says, "As I get older, I'm becoming more selective of who I consider a friend, I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies."
So today, I'm trying to remember to be grateful for the $1.50 worth of quarters I always have in my back pocket instead of regretting the bottle of pennies I left sitting on the shelf.
How The Heck Are You?
I don't miss the parties. I like my travels with my husband or daughter or the family.
ReplyDeleteIt's so much easier.
Yes. 4 quarters are much better than 100 pennies. Although I do like hose 100 pennies when it comes to chatting with a stranger I will never meet again. I guess those are the shiny pennies we find along the way.
I am also dismayed summer is half over....but I can't start thinking about snow yet!
Take care!
Anne
Haha..I wonder the same...am I even that likable without the alcohol. Since I stopped drinking all of my friends have just fallen away. Maybe I am causing it...maybe not...hard to tell
ReplyDeleteI found many of my friends unlikable. My best friend turned out to be a mean gossip....I just never saw that when we drank together.
DeleteIt's not you...
k, I've thought this subject a lot since I've written this post and I realize the fault doesn't lie in my friends, it's mine. See, I was never comfortable making friends, making friends or meeting new people, is one more thing I relied on alcohol to do for me. Like so many thing. Now, I realize that's another task I've got to make myself learn to do while sober. Not drinking isn't what's keeping people from me, I am. But, I'm not sure I want a lot of people around me. I need to figure out if I feel deficient because I'm worried about what other people think or whether I feel my worth is dependent on being liked by the masses.
ReplyDelete