Sunday, July 24, 2016

What Is Sobriety To Me by Kary May Hickey

As a non-drinker who has stayed active in a moderation community I am often asked what my definition of sobriety is. Lately I've been saying that my definition of sobriety is facing life day in and day out without the influence of alcohol compelling or inhibiting us, whether that be through total abstinence or successful moderation.

But really it comes down to not being able to blame drinking for anything anymore.

Sobriety to me is having only myself to blame for:

1. Probably still fucking up the alphabet if I was pulled over for a sobriety test because I'd have an anxiety attack that would render me brainless and I wouldn't even have my old boozy coquettishness to fall back on.

2.  Still falling down the deck steps because I decided to traipse outside in the middle of the night in my slippers and nightgown to turn on my twinkly lights. (a couple of weeks ago)

3. Still wincing sometimes when I recall my latest sexual escapades.

4. Still not answering the phone after 5:00 pm.

5. Still erupting into inappropriate laughter when someone is sharing their most shameful experiences or secrets. This is why I would not do well at meetings.

6. Still having putrefying vegetables in my crisper drawer that have liquified into a seeping, odoriferous substance unknown to man.

7. Still excelling at procrastination.

8. Still possessing absolutely no fashion sense but an abundance of ambivalence and "mom jeans"  in various sizes in my closet.

9. Still only having the same four dance moves I learned in 7th grade- the bump, the robot, the hustle and the white girl shuffle. The good news is I don't inflict them on others as much as I used to.

10. Still facing each day trying to be the best me I can be and sometimes falling short of the mark.

Sigh. Oh, well.


  1. You sound just awesome, Kary Mary! Remember, the cracks are where the light gets in ;-)

  2. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I can relate to the falling as I have an elephant body on sparrow legs an have broken both ankle TWICE! All 4 times stone cold sober, sometimes wonder if my drunken falls were more relaxed which is what saved my bones. Good to see someone else's idiosyncrasies, you are still wonderful you.

  3. I love twinkly lights! I have some and your post reminds me its time to pull them out and slap em on the wall.

    Thanks xo

  4. Awesome. And so fun. Just don't fall anymore.

  5. Ha!
    This sounds like being sober to me!
    My list would include definitely include #7!

  6. Those middle school dance moves, though! Haha. Great post.

  7. When dancing I've been told to "Stay inside the box" - imaginary box whereone barely fits standing. Of course, I ignore it.