Couldn't Help Myself!

I've been trying to ease the "f" word out of vocabulary. Just like drinking until I fell down started seeming more pathetic than cute when I hit 45, cussing like a sailor seems like another desperate ploy to hang on to my youth. Time to realize that the ship has sailed and it ain't coming back no matter how many F-bombs I toss out.  It just ain't who I'm aiming to fucking be these days. (I did say I was easing it out-slowly.)

But I'm giving myself a break from sanctity today, I need to staunch the blood flow from my nose that these lofty heights have brought about, and I couldn't help stealing this post from my friend, Jim, over at As Jim Sees It. He didn't post it on his blog, he posted it on facebook.  He is one of the most fucking funny guys I have ever heard and I read his posts daily just to laugh.

Here's a dose of Jim to prove my point and the good thing about this dose of Jim is that you won't have to follow it up with a round of antibiotics.  ;)

Jim, if you sue me for copyright infringement, you're going to be sorely disappointed in the rewards, the cap'n had been washing paper plates for years.

"Dating is hard. Relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. Marriage is so hard Nelson Mandela got a divorce.
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a South African prison getting tortured and beaten every day of his life for 27 years. He got out of jail, spent 6 months with his wife and said: "I can't take this shit!!!"

"Instead of a condom, I keep a moist towlette in my wallet, because I run into buffalo wings a lot more often than sex."