― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
Sometimes I don't have the right words, sometimes I don't reach everyone I'd like to, and sometimes, hey, people just don't jive with what I'm saying. That's why I'm so thankful that I have this whole community of bloggers out there to turn to and to rely on. One of us is going to be able to say what needs to be said in a way that gets through, when others can't. Yesterday I shared Christy's Word's for the Weekend, not just here, but on my fb page and also on several message boards that I am active on. I had a message back this morning from one of the members that said, "Thanks Kary, this post literally got me through a white knuckle moment." Yay!
Then.....I have a friend that I love but he too holds great affection for all things alcoholic, just like me. He's been confronting it and I'm so proud that he has turned to AA for help and even though he hasn't found complete success yet (does anybody know of anyone that was able to succeed the first time they quit? I'm curious.) he keeps at it. We all know that's what is important. I had contacted him a few weeks ago on fb chat but hadn't heard back and the first thought I had, as usual, was "Did I do something to piss him off?" That's my fall back first reaction, a relic of my drinking past. Then I remembered how I was whenever I "relapsed" and was ashamed to face others in the recovery community. I just didn't want to hear it. I already had a constant thrum of "loser, loser, loser, sounding in my brain. Anyone's kind display of concern was just going to make it worse. Yesterday I saw that my nephew was on fb chat and I thought, "What the hell. Ruth, my mom, is gonna be pissed at me if I don't reach out." So I typed in, "Hey you, what's up?" Then I got up to do something and while I was putzing I decided, Ok, I'll just ask, "Did I do something to piss you off?" I just can't let go of that. But when I got back to the computer, my nephew had replied with a request that I call him.
So, of course, I did. We had a great conversation. He's back in AA and in the course of our conversation we both talked about how we had dodged the DUI bullet, and we'd always thought it was just waiting for us around the corner. I hung up and was reading the blogs and "Whammy" there was Paul's blog The Verdict describing in great detail the nightmare my friend and I had just been discussing. The "yet" we knew was waiting for us if we kept drinking. So, of course, I sent the link to him. Another great phone conversation followed.
Then...last night I'm on fb again. No, I don't live on it as the cap'n claims, I just check it a couple million times a day. A woman that I met briefly years ago had seen my link on fb to the article on the Sober Nation Facebook Page and she'd been reading my blog. Could she call me? I have to admit, I hesitated, not because I don't want to talk to her, but because I'm afraid I won't have the right words. I can only share my experience and that may not be the one that touches her, the one that gives her the foundation to build her own new life on.
That's where you step in, amigos. I know that if I don't have the words, one of you will.