Monday, October 21, 2013


The cap'n took me to a Moody Blues concert last week and I have to tell you, it did more to make me feel young than a facelift could.  I told the cap'n, "You know the lines in the bathroom aren't near as long when most the people in the audience are wearing Depends."  Even Graeme Edge, the drummer, said, "I can remember when all I could smell wafting up from the audience was grass, now all I smell is Ben-Gay."  He should talk, he's 72.  OMG!!

Seriously, it wasn't quite what I remember concerts being like.  There were no drunks passed out before the show began.  No stoned topless girls weaving around on someone's shoulders, although there were some Medicare enrollees still out there doing their best to re-live the 60's.

It was all a little bit...sad.

It's funny how our minds get nostalgic about things like that.  Things like getting drunk and stoned and making a fool of ourselves.  Funny how we look back and rank those times as the best times of our lives.

I'll admit I was pissed off the whole day before just thinking about the concert.  Not the fact that it was the Moody Blues and I can only think of two of their songs that I like (If I never hear Nights in White Satin again, I will rejoice.) No, it wasn't the band that pissed me off.  I was pissed off because I couldn't drink.

There are trade-offs to this sober lifestyle.  One of them, for me, is that I'm never again going to "feel" the music as I did when I was drinking.  I'm never going to again say, "Oh my God, I looove this song.  This is my favorite song ever."  Over and over to every song that comes up on the playlist.

I miss that.  I really, really do.  And when I go to a concert, I want to feel that.  I want to drink.  But I can't.  Some people would say, "Don't go to concerts then."  Really?  

I have to keep in mind those trade-offs.  They add up to a whole lot more than getting drunk.  Here are some of the trade-offs to attending the concert sober last week.

1. The music was great and I really could appreciate it.
2. I know I wasn't one of those wild haired, tie-dyed weirdos bobbing and weaving and refusing to sit down like the Janis Joplin wannabe in front of me.  (Now I really sound like a bore.)
3. I was able to stroll the 16th street Mall in Denver afterwards because I wasn't so drunk that I needed to get back to the hotel to pass out.
4. I had a lovely memorable meal after the concert.
5. I felt great the next morning and was able to enjoy a fall day in downtown Denver without a hangover.

Tomorrow night I'm going to see Jimmy Buffet, time to check that item off of my bucket list.  I'm not worried, I know the trade-off's to staying sober, payoff is a more apt term, will be far greater than getting drunk.


  1. Good stuff, Kary! Saw Jimmy Buffet on Ellen a few days ago. He has a new CD out! Still looks and sounds pretty good.

    1. Hey Phil,
      You know the thing I don't get about Jimmy, he lives the exact opposite lifestyle of the one that he sings about. The man is a freakin' workaholic, he has to be with all of his shows, his books, his businesses...It's ok, we can pretend that he's really just out there sailing and fishing and playing guitar all day long.

    2. and he's a published author too! Saw him in Vegas a couple of years ago--what a fun show and a great guy.

  2. LOL I saw Jimmy Buffet this past summer--talk about a bunch of drunks! All the passing-out and weaving etc... that you didn't see at the Moody Blues Concert will be waiting for you at the Jimmy Buffet one. If you get there early enough, go walk through the giant camper/party parrot-head city that springs up in the parkinglot at his concerts. It is amazing...

    I'm sorry to hear that you got pissed off about not being able to drink--I totally remember that feeling even if I haven't had it in awhile. For whatever reason the most I get now are tiny twinges of nostalgia. Maybe it's a natural product of more sober time passing, or maybe it's the AA meetings/fellowship/friends I have now. I'm not really religious, so when AA talks about "wait for miracle to happen" I can get a bit eye-rolly, but who knows? Maybe miracles can be as small as losing my "I can't drink" anger?

    Have fun at the Jimmy Buffet concert--look at it as an anthropological study of how the other half (hard partiers) live. I remember walking out to our car after the concert thinking, "I am going to feel so much better tomorrow than any of those people will!" LOL!

    1. Now Lulu, you know I love that miracle quote, go ahead, roll your eyes. lol The funny thing is I'm not feeling near as pissed off about going to this concert, and I drank to that music every night for 12 years on a boat. It's going to be fun, and I know the pay-off this time.

  3. Funny you mention Moody Blues. I was never into them, but I downloaded (sorry) the Best Of. And have enjoyed it greatly! There were some songs I never knew it was them who sang it. I am not a fan of Nights in White Satin either - it's like Led Zepplin's "Stairway to Heaven" - too overplayed.

    Anyway, what you say about the trade-offs - I get that. I know what you mean about feeling the music - letting it drip into the pores and into the soul. There was that moment where it was like the music lived in me. But then I know I went too far and got maudlin and listened to the same song over and over, obsessively and drowning in it. But I still love music, and I can probably say that it's my one and only hobby and love. And the music may not get so intense as it did when I was drinking, but there are times I do get those glimpses, where it transcends and I do get it. So there is hope...ha ha.

    Glad you were able to enjoy the concert...and yeah, I hear the Jimmy Buffet concerts are a little mad...ha ha. So you'll fit right in, but in a different way. :)

    Love and light,

    1. Ah God! The listening to the same song over and over and over. Do you know that is what we did every night on the boat (we didn't have tv or internet). How did we do it? We drank, that's how. Drinking can make even the most monotonous things interesting. No wonder I wasted so many years doing the same thing over and over. Love and light back atya!

  4. I had a moment like this on Saturday. I really wanted to be at my friend's bachelorette party but I didn't go. Why? Because I had a bad attitude about having to be sober when no one else did. Plain and simple. I also still get pissed off when I go out to a nice restaurant and I can't have that one, crisp, huge glass of white wine. That's what civilized people are SUPPOSED to do! That's what wine is for - to drink in a civilized manner with friends around a dinner table!

    But I'm not civilized about it and that's why I'm sober. It's worth it - every single damn day it's worth it. But I still get pissed off.

    I just love your honesty my friend. Enjoy Jimmy...he's definitely one of my favorites.


    1. Do you have any id.ea how much better this just made me feel? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that still misses it. Thank you, amiga

  5. Have a great time at Jimmy tonight. The best part about being sober at his shows is all the people-watching . . . they're just crazy! And gotta say, the smug feeling of knowing they're going to feel like shit the next day while we go about our merry way and remember every moment of the night before is priceless.

    Changes in attitude, changes in latitude, nothing remains quite the same, my friend,

    PS--did you see my reveal? You and Sherry played a big part in inspiring me, thank you!