Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Home Bound

Peace - that was the other name for home. ~Kathleen Norris

Day 8
Out of bed by 5:00 am, that's usually my target time to greet the day so I can get an hour or so of alone quiet time but I didn't sleep well last night so I'm a little groggy. I'm at that mind racing stage of withdrawal where my Co-Writer keeps me up late with new ideas for blogs and answers to the universe. I kind of miss this period when it fades away. Anything you want to know? I can ask him tonight and we'll probably come up with an answer. My sleep and beauty routines were disrupted in my latest little experiment and that pisses me off. At this stage in my life I can't afford to skimp on those since I totally ignored them for 30 years. Damn! I was 2 weeks into a lash serum regimen that I'm going to have to start over. I think it was working. The lashes that kept right on falling out looked a little thicker and longer.

But anyway. The stars are still twinkling in the sky, a fire is crackling in the woodstove and I've got a hot cup of tea at my elbow. Once again, my world is upright on its axis. I told you I learned a lot of lessons in those two weeks SOB and one of them is that this little cabin on the mountain is my home. It is wear my soul sings and laughs and can be at rest. I know a physical place isn't supposed to make a difference if you're at peace in your soul but I think there are places where it is easier for us to find that peace. This is my place and there were tears of gratitude when I unlatched the gate last week. I'll still wander, in fact I'm leaving in a couple of days to accompany the cap'n to a new workplace, (It's a workplace so it will be a safe place.)but I will always find my way back here. And when I head to Mexico this winter, which I have decided will never be a permanent home for me, I will have the means in place to get back here. There will be no more talk for me of moving to Mexico permanently or of selling this place. I will do what I have to keep it. It is my soul's home after all. Too many years I let life happen to me, alcohol made me powerless to stand up and claim my stake. But this year of fighting for my sobriety strengthened some other fighting bones, too.

My soul has found another home, though. It has found a home in sobriety. Sobriety for me forever hereafter will be defined as total abstinence because Kary May + alcohol never, ever = sober. I know some of you are still looking for that homeplace and I pray you find it whether it be in moderation or permanent abstinence. But for me, sobriety is where my soul sings and laughs and can be at rest.

So today I'm just out there doing my best to strengthen my home ties and exercising my fighting bones.


  1. Love that I am on Day 8 too. This is my first time around though. I also had a sleepless night last night where my brain wouldn't turn off, had no idea it was part of the withdrawal process.

  2. It always has been for me. I always thought it was because the log jam caused by alcohol had finally cleared but I read somewhere that it is a part of the withdrawal process. Congratulations on Day 8, I hope this is your only one.