Again.
I find myself sitting and wondering what I can do, what can anyone do.
Nothing.
I can't do anything to change the hate that seems to be overrunning the world.
All I can change is myself.
I can love more deeply, more thoroughly and more openly.
I can be less judgmental.
I can be more forgiving.
I can say only good things, positive things, hopeful things.
I can work steadfastly at doing all this and removing whatever barriers hinder me.
I made a giant step forward when I decided to quit drinking five years ago, and I know, without a doubt, that if I hadn't done that I would be sitting here today hungover, unable to love myself as deeply as I know I can, unable to quit putting myself down as weak and hopeless, unable to forgive myself. I wouldn't be able to summon one good, positive or hopeful thing to say about myself and my world today. I would be so wrapped up in my own pain and the futility of my own struggle that I couldn't fully feel others' pain. Or care enough to do anything. But drink more.
Thank God, that has changed. Thank God I did as my friend, Jackie, over at Sassy Sober Living talks about and got out of the f'ing box that alcohol put me and my life in.
Now, even in the midst of the darkest times, I have hope that I can make my world better.
It's what I can do.
