Sunday, February 12, 2012


Sobriety Day 152
I loved this song.  It came out at a very difficult time in my life, and it was my anthem of hope.  I was living in my shitty drafty little house with two young boys, not enough money, and an unhappy marriage.  When the video would play on MTV, I would drop the dish I was drying or the bottom I was changing, and I'd run out to the living room to watch that video.  She was so beautiful and she made me believe that all I had to do was keep believing in myself and things would get better.

Today that song seems to mock its songstress, like so many people mocked her in the last years of her life.  And I'm sitting here hoping my Co-Writer has something up his sleeve because all I keep pulling out of the empty thin air, are questions.

What happened to that greatest love, Whitney?  Did we not love ourselves enough?

What should we tell your daughter when she asks, "Why? Didn't I love her enough? Didn't she love me enough?"  How do we let addiction convince us that the meager offerings of love it leaves us to share with others is enough?

Where does that love go? What does addiction do with it?  And why, when we manage to kick the bastard out and get some of the love back, do we then throw open the doors and say, "Come back in. Take what I have left."  When is enough, enough?

In the end, we all manage to escape, one way or another.

Yesterday you said, "Enough."


  1. Well put. It is sad but unfortunately not shocking

  2. Some of us were not that far along in our addiction, but I was damn close. Too many nights worried that I was going to stroke out and too many days wondering around looking "disheveled" and "out of it" without realizing it. I'm glad I said, "Enough" in time.

  3. My present wife should've said " 'nuff's enough" years ago. She must be a glutton for punishment.... She must have seen something that I wasn't aware of at the time!