Thursday, February 7, 2013
No Matter What
I made the comment on the MM board the other day, that finally it comes down to making the vow, "no matter what" and sticking to it. I said I knew how restrictive that sounded, but in fact it is so freeing. "No matter what" I will never again have to worry about being stricken immobile from the remorse caused by drunken disregard, never again will I be too sick from a hangover or too inebriated to pay attention to those people or those things that need my utmost attention. Never again will I be so shrouded and wrapped in my own despair over my drinking that I take no notice of others' pain. I can finally reach out, I can finally throw something back into the game of life.
My daughter-in-law, the capn's youngest son's wife, was diagnosed with a rare, very aggressive form of cervical cancer last week. Cat scans and MRI show no spread, but she will have surgery tomorrow and we will see if it has spread to the lymph system. Regardless, because of the aggressiveness of this form of cancer, she will have radiation and chemo. The five year survival rate, from what I can glean from google searches, is around 30%. She has two boys,five and ten months.
All I am able to do now is pray, and I can do that with all my being. But should she call on me for anything else, I will be there, I told her I was "free" anytime she needed me.
If you are of the praying sort, please keep her and her young family in your prayers, if you don't pray, I firmly believe good thoughts and wishes have as much heft.